To the girl feeling lonely,
Hi, how are you? No, really how are you? If you’re feeling lonely, I bet it’s been a moment since someone has asked you that question and has actually been interested in your honest, vulnerable answer.
Sometimes, I feel alone. Sometimes I feel alone because there’s lots of good people around me, but they don’t seem to care about me as much as I care about them. Sometimes I feel alone because there’s not many good people in my life. Sometimes I feel alone because I have isolated myself from everyone around me. Sometimes I feel alone because there’s lots of people around me who I only know on a surface-level. And previously, when I was alone, I always felt lonely. However, I have recently learned that being alone does not always mean feeling lonely.
A common misconception is that loneliness goes hand-in-hand with being alone. If you’re alone – if you’re all by yourself – you’re going to feel lonely. Loneliness is a horrible feeling of abandonment and hopelessness, and sadly, I am sure we have all felt it. But there’s an important difference between feeling lonely and simply being alone, and that difference is Jesus.
Trust me, when I’m feeling lonely, all I want to do is hide under my covers, throw a pity-party for myself, and sleep the day away. But, when I take advantage of my time alone to spend one-on-one time with God, it makes me feel so much better. (Not to mention, alone time allows for SO much self-growth… but that’s a whole other blog post in itself. :)) Jesus constantly pours out his love for us, even at our darkest times when we don’t deserve it. Finding truth in the Bible allows me to see that I am never truly alone and that Jesus always has my back. Here are a few reminders, in case you happen to be in need of them:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you (Dueteronomy 31:6)
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. (Psalm 21:10)
Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families. (Psalm 68: 5-6)
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
… and there’s countless more
Instead, I feel excited to spread God’s love with others. I am excited to show them what true happiness looks like with Christ. I am excited for them to finally feel fulfilled in a way that no material or worldly things can make you feel. I want them to find this love in Jesus and in genuine, authentic people around them.
So many people are feeling lonely in this world. Yes, even the ones who seem like they have it all together. Yes, even the ones who apparently have countless friends with whom they spend all their time. The truth is that more people than ever in this world are broken and empty on the inside, seeking to fill the hole in their hearts with things that the world promises will make us happy. So, let us share God’s perfect love with the world in hopes that others open their hearts to this perfect love and in hopes that we can find true human connection through relationships rooted in Christ and his truth.
Now, this is easier said than done. I am 100% an introvert and admittedly have quite a bit of social anxiety. I am definitely not perfect and sometimes question whether I am loved or wanted. And I never want to be “too much” or make people uncomfortable. I forget about God’s unconditional love for us and feel the need to seek human validation. It makes it difficult to reach out or spread love at the risk of “saying the wrong thing” or someone not reciprocating the love. Here are some tangible ways to spread the love when it’s feeling extra difficult: text someone you haven’t seen in a while that you miss them, ask to grab ice cream with a new friend, compliment someone you admire, support someone’s passion project… & these are just a few suggestions!
So, to the girl who is feeling lonely, I get you. I’ve been you. So many other people reading this are like you. I am here to tell you that there are lots of great people who will be there for you in this life – truly. But, more importantly, Jesus is always there for you. He is constant and his love is unconditional. So, lean on him… and then let someone else lean on you. Be the true friend you never had. You are strong, you are capable, and you are amazing. And I love you so much!
Love,
Abby
@abbyjbergman
